It was a chance meeting.
"What are you doing in Asia?" read her
Facebook message to me.
I explained my purpose: "I'm just touristing
and doing a bit of learning on sex trafficking in Thailand and Cambodia."
"Wow!" she replied, "I work with
women in the sex trade!"
...
Cassie is a brilliant, bright, and bold person.
As I met with her, our conversation easily flowed from our mutual time at
Briercrest College, to justice and social work, and onto matters of the heart
and loving people. We talked about community. We talked about
Cambodia, her now home for now, and we laughed about the fact that it took us
until Asia to connect and really have a conversation because she was a
basketball player in College and I was the artistic introvert.
How funny how roads lead us to places we'd never
expect!
Meeting people in random places.
Of course I peppered her with questions.
And then my breath was stolen and my stomach was
punched in the gut by her responses. Because how can you listen to
stories about children who are being trafficked without feeling this way?
...
And as I started writing this blog, I had to take a
break. It's so hard to interact with this material and to really feel it-
to really feel it- like its your blood and water.
It haunts.
But this keeps gnawing on me to write.
So write, I must.
For them. The young ones. The one's who
have a little voice, but need it to be so much louder.
...
I think of my friend, Cassie, and I love the
way her smile lights up a room and the way her laugh dances. She's got so
much joy and life and she's bringing it to these girls.
So although I speak of pain, I speak of hope.
Because many children play in the courtyards of
Destiny Rescue, Cambodia, are free from a life of sexual exploitation and getting
the help they need.
Cassie is a Reintegration and After-care Manager who will be eventually relocating to India this summer. However her time with
Destiny Rescue has taken her to Thailand and Cambodia (where she currently
resides). The clients, who
are more than just victims, but survivors of child exploitation, are mainly 11 to 21 and are amazingly resilient.
As we scooted down the road on
her Moto for a second I could imagine life in Cambodia as if I never
knew Canada. She took me
to a trendy coffee shop because coffee is always a good idea with a
friend and a deep conversation to be had.
I pulled out my journal with 'little-kid' print on
the front and we get down to the grit of it.
"So why are you in Thailand?" this good-looking guy from England asked me and I paused, wondering if I should say the real answer or just give one of those glitzy traveller quotes, "I'm a hippie and I love travelling and I'm pretty cool..." (or something like that).
But the real answer? People don't want the
real answer because they'd rather not think about it. It's uncomfortable
and odd and vulnerable all at the same time.
I paused and then I went for it.
"I'm taking social work," I began,
"and I'm really interested in helping people come out of sex-trafficking.
I did some research and found that sex-trafficking is a pretty
huge problem in Thailand and so I thought I would connect with some
organizations here and learn a bit more about it."
There is was.
I'm the biggest nerd with a huge heart and I travel because I want to learn about social justice issues and make
a small dent in changing the world.
"Cool," he said, nodding along. I
don't know if he really thought it was cool or if he was just humouring me.
Either way I smiled and let the moment pass.
...
I recently sat down with a lady from Nightlight in
Bangkok, Thailand. Nightlight is an organization that helps women who
have been trafficked in Bangkok. We met at a cafe in the middle of the
city with a few other girls who were interested in the organization.
Sitting there waiting for the informational 'tour'
that I was going on, I felt small and naive.
I have so much to learn.
I immediately noticed how friendly everyone in the
cafe was and how the atmosphere seemed to be surrounded by love and respect.
Later a lady walked in with a friendly smile, greeting each of the staff.
They chatted a little about their day and it was the warm relationships
that I noticed between them that drew me in.
She would later confirm that the coffee shop also provides
alternative employment and job training for some of the women in the industry.
As we sat upstairs the lady continued to vibrantly
speak in her Australian accent, engaging with us in her welcoming manner.
"Nightlight is all about relationships,"
she told us, "We don't ever say to someone, 'You have to leave
prostitution and then we will love you. We just have an open door.
Everyone is loved."
She explained about some of the programs: the
Outreach centre, Job Training, The Bakery, Jewelry, and Apparel. These
programs were giving these women hope.
And she told stories.
Stories about girls in Uganda who were tricked into
coming to Thailand for better opportunities. Stories about women who
learned to trust their Trafficker because their Trafficker spent 8 months being
their friend before convincing them to move to Thailand. Stories of girls
who (new to the industry) were trying to desperately cover up because Thai's
are very modest. When they were thrust into the industry they were made
to wear things that made them extremely uncomfortable.
She talked about
how many Thais look down on those with darker skin.
She told me women from Uganda are often mistreated because of the color of their skin.
She told me women from Uganda are often mistreated because of the color of their skin.
She talked about the beginning of prostitution in
Thailand.
"During the Vietnam war soldiers
would come to Thailand in their off time to relax and have sex with the girls
here," she explained.
Racism, culture, religion, and
history intersected.
I was left sitting there, trying to understand.
The brain can't fully wrap itself around that kind
of thing. Not really.
Later on we went to see where some of the other
businesses were run. We met a few of the women employed by Nightlight.
There was hope there. There was light.
For 45 women, many of whom had chosen to leave the bars or work in the red light area, and were
now with Nightlight, there was hope.
For the women who have been repatriated back to Uganda there was hope.
"We receive messages from them," our informant told us,
"they are doing well."
...
Later that day I bought some of the jewelry the women had created and were
selling and I went home to my hostel brooding over what it means to have
worth and dignity as a woman.
I've experienced shame and worthlessness in my
life, but never to the degree that some of those women on the streets of
Bangkok, Thailand have.
I'm glad for organizations like this one which
provide a way out and a way of overcoming shame, that are making strides in
showing Jesus' love, and who are persevering in innovative ways to help those
who need it.
 |
| Angkor Wat |
Travelling always gives me perspective, as if I've been going through life in a fog going, "Same, Same, Same," everyday.
The routine of everyday can get so narrow and small.
I can't see a freaking thing outside my little box of this tiny life.
And it's all about me.
This, "me, me, me" world.
Often I just need to be shaken up, dropped on the head so to speak, given a little life to life resuscitation. And with a gasp I finally breath. Like its the first time all over again.
Getting away from it all- the life I left behind for a while- I can see it like I'm gawking at my own Zoo and I'm the animal in it doing these weird routines and calling it life. Life is a Zoo. It's complicated and diobolically outrageous. And its wonderful all at the same time.
But I get so caught up in it.
Emotions.
Moments that come- and seem so big- and then pass.
Looking at it all from the outside, it seems to simple.
Just know God and love him like heck.
And after that just love people.
If only this was the easy part.
Because loving God above all else, I've learned, means sacrifice.
And loving people- well sometimes that gets messy.
"I've got this," seems to be my mantra. Until something in me cracks.
How humbling.
I don't.
I don't got this.
God's got it all. I've been seeing all the sights, taking in the millions of people- tourists and locals alike- who are all a part of this and it makes me feel small. Because I am small. Going to places like the Toel Sleng Genocide Museum in Phnom Penh and seeing how thousands were killed and tortured gives me perspective.
I've got it good.
I always do. Even when it seems the world is crashing down, from here it doesn't look so bad.
Perspective.
 |
| Room in Toel Sleng prison |
I went to see Angkor Wat today in Siem Reap and it was aesthetically and architecturally pleasing. I love architecture. I read a bit about the history and I kind of shrugged my shoulders.
Here I am at one of the greatest temples in the world- I actually think it's the largest temple in the world and I'm kind of like, "that's nice."
And I walk around and pretty soon I'm pulling out "The Purpose Driven Life", a book on seeking God's purpose. And I'm walking around the grounds reading it, because my God doesn't dwell in a temple made by human hands (Acts 17:24). He dwells in me (1 Cor 3:16).
Perspective.
The kind that kills these moments, or creates them.
You decide.
And I'm kind of half here in Cambodia and half at home in my Zoo asking myself, "How do I live when I get home?"
In light of eternity. In light of how small I am and how Big I NEED God to be.
In light of all this- and I've only mentioned a few of the things I've seen and learnt.
How do I live like I am awe-struck by the gospel all over again?
How do I love people so it changes them?
How do I learn to fight for justice- because everything innate in me is not a fighter (or is it?).
And I think about my Zoo at home. I love my Zoo and as inperfect as it gets, it's still my little world with all these people who are full of so much worth. Every. single. one. of. them. This is what I see when I look at it from the outside.
And I think to myself.
What a God who can create all of this world and put me in it.
I'm excited to return to my Zoo with new perspective.
There's a time for this.
For the looking in on the Zoo from the outside.
There's a time for it all.
For loving and clenching and unclenching fist.
Learning.
Being out of routine.
And there's a time to go back.
And love.
And live.
With new perspective.
At work I shake my head as we discussed the state of the world. Politics, nature, terrorism, and religion have all collided and its rubbed into the face of all of us.
"The world is just a huge mess right now," I hear myself say.
When I go through these moments of questioning and of grasping for truth in my own life, I often turn to displays of God's miraculous power.
Why?
I am partly an intellectual, but when it comes to my faith in Christ, I've come to the conclusion that the miraculous works of God are one of the greatest evidences of his existence.
...
"In a few days you will be baptized by the Holy Spirit," Jesus says after appearing to the apostles (Acts 1:5).
Acts opens with the reminder that even though Jesus has left, there is more to come.
We are hanging on the edge of our seats if we must be honest. In life, often, we are barely holding on trying desperately to give off the, "I'm okay world" vibe.
I'm not okay often. Not on this earth. Not while there is this schism between God and I. Not when there is so much wrong with the world.
This is why we must anticipate these words in Acts. For ourselves. For the church. For others.
Because when we are at the edge of our human limits we recognize our need for God to be present, for him to show up and not to leave.
Because Jesus' death and resurrection can't be the end of the story.
In Acts the people are mourning the fact that Jesus must ascend to heaven. Yet, if you've read Acts you know that many incredible things occur in Acts, fulfilling Jesus' statement that, "you will received power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in Judea and Samaria and to the ends of the earth" (Acts 1:8).
When we're in the midst of our messy lives here on earth, the Holy Spirit is the one who empowers us to stand for God. We are witnesses for God, by his grace.
In the midst of what could have been a time of despair, mourning, and desperation, the church is raised up as a beacon, proclaiming the truth of the death and resurrection of Jesus (Acts 2).
In the midst of our world, the current state of politics, and the general confusion of a post-truth world. we are in desperate need for the truth of Jesus, just as in Acts.
I think that there are two responses to the beginning of Acts.
One is that we become witnesses.
By definition a witness is someone who can state what they have seen or heard or know to be true by some means. (Bible hub, 2017).
I almost had an accident today driving to work. My mind was on something else and I wasn't as sharp as I usually would be. So I almost ran into someone when the light turned red and they went to make their left turn. I was the foolish driver running the red light and almost crashing.
Being a witness requires that we keep our eyes open. It requires that we are constantly aware of God's goodness. We keep our minds sharp.
We hold our breathe and wait with longing to see more.
We pine to know the real and living God.
And we tell.
We see, not only as the world sees, but with the eyes of Jesus, so we can be witness to the things he is doing (just as in Acts).
When the apostles say Christ ascend to Heaven they became witnesses to his ascension.
He's not done. God is continually working and we are his witnesses to the things he continues to do.
The second response to Acts is that we are to anticipate God's power with faith.
Faith has been hard to come by at times for me, especially in times of hurt. Sometimes I'd like to just curl up and shut down, but I know there is a better way.
The believing way.
As Jesus ascends to heaven the people look to the sky.
"Why do you stand here looking into the sky? This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven" (Acts 1:11)
It would have taken faith to believe this, just as it takes us faith to continue to put our trust in God over and over again even in the midst of the times he seems far off.
In the remainder of Acts 1, the people pray together and choose another disciple to replace Judas. Life goes on even while the people mourn the end of Jesus' presence on earth. Yet, the church continues to grow in Acts as the people continue to see miraculous deeds through the apostles (Acts 2:41- 47). The Holy Spirit enables the people.
I am quick to shut down and forget to anticipate that God is still powerful and moving, that Jesus is still coming back, and that there is hope in the world, that a church like that in Acts is still available to me today even in the midst of terrorism, messy politics, and difficult circumstances.
I can stand with the Lord and say that I have faith that he will never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5) and that he has good plans for us (the greatest plan being the gospel).
Life; here, now. There are choices to be made today as the day stretches and the sun falls down over the horizon. To sit and see. Or to be busy and blinded.
Tomorrow. The time creeps. Each hole is filled.
I'm reading a book about Wess Stafford, former president of Compassion. He grew up in Nielle, Africa. He talks about time and how the Western world is busy to fill it.
I am busy to fill it.
But, not so much in business, but in the right things.
I want to fill it with love, with reflection, with prayer, with music, with small moments, with laughter, and with praise to the one who deserves all of my life.
I remember I used to have a huge bucket list of things to do and if I'm honest its still there, just not at the forefront. Don't get me wrong; the adventurous spirit in me still beats as wild as ever when I let it have full reign. However, there is also another part of me that is peaceful and calm and filled with a centre in Christ so that all this "hurry, hurry" and messages about traveling the world and seeing everything before its too late don't move me the same as before.
I won't see everything and it will be too late, but not too late for the things that matter more.
I'd rather love.
I'd rather sit and study the word of God.
I'd rather not be moved by all this hustle and bustle.
I'd rather do the hard work and remove all the things that stand in the way between me and God.
I'd rather see what God is doing.
Time here is short and then there is this mysterious eternity. We are headed here- into this mystery in some form. If we know God, we will see him there- in Heaven.
I live in this perspective.
Tomorrow. The time creeps. Each hole is filled.
I'm reading a book about Wess Stafford, former president of Compassion. He grew up in Nielle, Africa. He talks about time and how the Western world is busy to fill it.
I am busy to fill it.
But, not so much in business, but in the right things.
I want to fill it with love, with reflection, with prayer, with music, with small moments, with laughter, and with praise to the one who deserves all of my life.
I remember I used to have a huge bucket list of things to do and if I'm honest its still there, just not at the forefront. Don't get me wrong; the adventurous spirit in me still beats as wild as ever when I let it have full reign. However, there is also another part of me that is peaceful and calm and filled with a centre in Christ so that all this "hurry, hurry" and messages about traveling the world and seeing everything before its too late don't move me the same as before.
I won't see everything and it will be too late, but not too late for the things that matter more.
I'd rather love.
I'd rather sit and study the word of God.
I'd rather not be moved by all this hustle and bustle.
I'd rather do the hard work and remove all the things that stand in the way between me and God.
I'd rather see what God is doing.
Time here is short and then there is this mysterious eternity. We are headed here- into this mystery in some form. If we know God, we will see him there- in Heaven.
I live in this perspective.
Whether it's recovering from a surgery, a loss in the family, our own pride, or any sort of straying, restoration can take time and diligent work.
It's often marked by a broken that perhaps not everyone can see.
Make no mistake. Each person has been broken in some way or another.
...
I live in Alberta where the world is about cattle, fields of farmland, and the Rocky Mountains. The economy is built on the oil industry, and the battle between the Oilers and the Flames never quite gets resolved.
I grew up like most country girls running through fields of long crops, building forts in trees, and caring for a copious amount of cats. I was a shy tom-boy growing up and though I didn't go around playing sports or beating up kids in school, there's always been a little part of me that's wild; that's climbing a tree, jumping into a lake, or driving a little too fast on the highway.
I tell people I am a tomboy at heart and they kind of blink because I wear cute clothes and I'm not too rough around the edges (I don't think).
It's like that, sometimes, with brokenness. If I were to confess all the sin in my heart or the mistakes I've made, I think a lot of people might be caught off guard because I don't cause a big ruckus or outwardly strut my sin around on parade.
I've written, recently about following Jesus and about laying down idols, something that is always a work in progress.
I think, a part of that process is the work that Jesus does in restoring us to himself.
Thank-goodness it's not completely up to us to patch ourselves back together. My skills at this, at least, have always ended in failure.
1 Peter 5:10 says "the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."
God does not promise no suffering, but that in our suffering, God might restore us.
In Jeremiah, the book I am currently reading about the rebellious nations of Judah and Israel, God promises restoration.
When life is overwhelming and we are drowning under a sea of tough circumstances our own self-inflicted mess, this is the message we need to hear.
Make no mistake, the entire book of Jeremiah is filled with a call to renounce idols and to turn to the living God. However, it is backed up by the promise that God has not left, but will restore the people to himself.
"‘Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security. 7 I will bring Judah and Israel back from captivity and will rebuild them as they were before. 8 I will cleanse them from all the sin they have committed against me and will forgive all their sins of rebellion against me. 9 Then this city will bring me renown, joy, praise and honour before all nations on earth that hear of all the good things I do for it; and they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant prosperity and peace I provide for it.’"- Jeremiah 33:6-9
To be honest, I'd rather read Jeremiah 33 and ignore the rest of Jeremiah. It is like a breath of fresh air compared to the doom and gloom of the rest of the book (although I believe the rest of the book to be immensely important). The fact is that God is always like a breath of fresh air compared to the rest of our lives.
Different seasons in life lead us to different places. And sometimes those places are very broken- whether a making of our own or a difficult circumstance out of our control. Sometimes, as in 1 Peter 5, the restoration we need is from suffering that is outside of us, not necessarily something of our own making. Other times, the restoration we need is from the broken of our own mistakes.
It is with great relief that we can always count on the faithfulness of God in every circumstance; knowing he loves us and brings us through, knowing that he has called us to eternal glory in Christ, and knowing that he will restore us who place our hope in him.
Restoration is still arduous, but less so because we know that God is in it and is, himself, working out this restoration.