It was a chance meeting.
"What are you doing in Asia?" read her
Facebook message to me.
I explained my purpose: "I'm just touristing
and doing a bit of learning on sex trafficking in Thailand and Cambodia."
"Wow!" she replied, "I work with
women in the sex trade!"
...
Cassie is a brilliant, bright, and bold person.
As I met with her, our conversation easily flowed from our mutual time at
Briercrest College, to justice and social work, and onto matters of the heart
and loving people. We talked about community. We talked about
Cambodia, her now home for now, and we laughed about the fact that it took us
until Asia to connect and really have a conversation because she was a
basketball player in College and I was the artistic introvert.
How funny how roads lead us to places we'd never
expect!
Meeting people in random places.
Of course I peppered her with questions.
And then my breath was stolen and my stomach was
punched in the gut by her responses. Because how can you listen to
stories about children who are being trafficked without feeling this way?
...
And as I started writing this blog, I had to take a
break. It's so hard to interact with this material and to really feel it-
to really feel it- like its your blood and water.
It haunts.
But this keeps gnawing on me to write.
So write, I must.
For them. The young ones. The one's who
have a little voice, but need it to be so much louder.
...
I think of my friend, Cassie, and I love the
way her smile lights up a room and the way her laugh dances. She's got so
much joy and life and she's bringing it to these girls.
So although I speak of pain, I speak of hope.
Because many children play in the courtyards of
Destiny Rescue, Cambodia, are free from a life of sexual exploitation and getting
the help they need.
Cassie is a Reintegration and After-care Manager who will be eventually relocating to India this summer. However her time with
Destiny Rescue has taken her to Thailand and Cambodia (where she currently
resides). The clients, who
are more than just victims, but survivors of child exploitation, are mainly 11 to 21 and are amazingly resilient.
As we scooted down the road on
her Moto for a second I could imagine life in Cambodia as if I never
knew Canada. She took me
to a trendy coffee shop because coffee is always a good idea with a
friend and a deep conversation to be had.
I pulled out my journal with 'little-kid' print on
the front and we get down to the grit of it.
"What's the difference you see between women who are trafficked and children?"I ask. There's no way to dive into this subject easily.
"Children are a commodity here. They are full of innocence and purity. They are sought after for
their virginity. Their own
virginity puts them more at risk," she tells me.
I know this from research, but it still hits me
that innocence would be stolen based on a cultural ideal.
"Once a girl has lost her virginity she has
no worth within Cambodian
culture. They are
taught that the abuse they have faced has brought shame to their families. It’s
often this stigma that results in girls working
in brothels, bars and KTV's (karaoke bars)."
She tells me that women often are exploited because
of circumstances such as poverty or addiction, and that families living in debt bondage often sell or
exploit their own daughters as a means of currency.
She explains that there are often different
categories to prostitution or
sex work: choice, circumstance, and coercion.
Our conversation goes on.
"Where do you see hope and Resiliency in
Kids?"
I ask this as the "hope" guru I am. I'm all about hope. I've got it tattooed on
my arm, after all.
She responds by telling me about the incredible
capacity of the girls she works with. They have survived so much and yet
they still have the ability to be joyful and keep going.
"As much as that is Cambodian
culture, that is resiliency" she extrapolates.
They make the choice to keep going.
As we broach the topic of hope, we pause because
it's hard and if this trip has taught me anything, it's that hope looks so very
different than we might shape it to be.
"Hope is short-term," she states and I
know it's true, "There is a fear of carrying hope because it's so devastating if, but mostly, when, they
don’t see the light of what they have been longing for”
I've felt this fear myself- and I imagine- it's
multiplied when you've experienced something that's only for nightmares.
"I know this is a lot," I say to my
friend as we chat and we are not even half way through the questions I have.
I feel the weight of the subject. It's real, after-all.
While I sit here safe in Canada with the winter air being my main source of pain, the reality is so different for these young children.
While I sit here safe in Canada with the winter air being my main source of pain, the reality is so different for these young children.
My thoughts flicker back to Cambodia.
My mind drifts back again to a coffee shop in Cambodia having this
life changing conversation.
"What do Dignity and Worth mean to you?"
These two words have been on my mind for the entire
trip. I have unofficially tucked them away as my words for the trip and
perhaps for the year.
"The idea of worth is that when it's just you
alone in the lightest or darkest days
that you can rest in the truth and knowledge that you are loved no matter what. It can’t be gained, or taken away. It
is nothing that we do- or what people do to us. It is already given to
us; marked on us."
Those, my friends, are wise words from a wise lady.
"Dignity," my friend told me, "comes
after the worth. It is claiming your identity back."
This girl speaks with such passion. As one
moment she's exuding emotion and in the next breath she's an advocate. I
blink and she's quoting facts that tell me she's done her research and lived
the experience.
Lastly I ask: "If you could tell these
girls three things, what would it be?"
It's funny, I venture we all could use some of
these words.
- They are so, so, loved and valued. Their life has worth. They are known. They are seen.
- They are capable of so much more than they know, and they don’t have to live within the limits that have been placed on them.
- What has happened to them is not who they are. Their story does not define them. They are not exploited girls. They are survivors.
My friend is with Destiny Rescue for the next
while. I love her bravery and passion.
If you want to
follow along on her journey and hear more of her heart, you can find her blog here.
If you would like to know more about Destiny Rescue
click here. There are opportunity's to donate and more
information available on the website. My friend explained that there are
so many needs: more staff, opportunities and funding for education for girls
over 16, and new technology for video calls that aid in their work.
...
With that I close my time in Cambodia and Thailand.
This trip was so startling and eye-opening. It was fun and full of
sun and dehydration and getting lost. But it was also deep and rich and
valuable.
I always ask myself: What do I do from here?
I have an action point and in time I will share
that with you.
Reading this, you also have an opportunity to take
action. I could give you bullet points of what those action points might
be, but I think it's more authentic if it comes from you.
With Care,
0 Comments